To Catch A Pirate
by Inky Iris
Summary: Jack Sparrow just wants to buy some rum. A little boy won't leave him alone. "I'm Alfred." "I don't care."


"Who are you?"

Captain Jack Sparrow blinked and looked around for the young voice that met his ears. Next to him, a young blonde boy had fallen into step with him. The child looked up at him with large blue eyes alit with curiosity. Jack ignored the boy and kept walking.

"Did you hear me?" The boy asked with concern, "Are you deaf?"

"No," the captain replied curtly.

"No, you didn't hear me, or no, you aren't deaf?" The child asked loudly. Jack stopped in his tracks. The boy continued a few steps before he realized Jack was no long beside him. The kid spun to face Jack.

"No, I am not deaf, and yes, I heard you. I did not wish to _answer_ you because I am _very_ busy and have no time for questions from small children." Jack gestured as he spoke, before he turned on his heel and started a different way. He heard the footsteps of the child switch direction and continue following him. Once Jack got away from the docks and into the market of the town, he was sure he'd lose the child quickly. Unfortunately, he didn't have a chance to get that far, as a hand grabbed his coat, jerking him to a stop. Jack whirled, expecting to see a grown man with the amount of strength that had been used. Instead, he saw the same little boy staring up at him.

"Your hair looks funny. I like it." The kid grinned.

"You are irritating. I don't like it," Jack returned. The boy laughed.

"I'm Alfred."

Jack started walking again.

"Hey!" The child chased after him. "My big brother says it's polite to give your name when someone introduces themselves to you!"

In just a few streets, Jack would be amongst the crowds of the market. He sped up.

"I like your hat." Jack grinned. "Are you a pirate?" His grin disappeared and he whirled to face the boy. The boy ran into him, and Jack grimaced. With only a few fingers, he pushed the boy away from him.

"I am not a pirate. And, if I were such a scoundrel as that, it would not be wise for you to go shouting it about in such a place as this, where there are sure to be soldiers _looking_ for such disreputable men. Savvy?"

The boy blinked. "So you're not a pirate?" He sounded disappointed. "Are you sure?"

"Why are you so inquisitive?" Jack returned.

The child brightened. "My brother used to be a pirate! He was the best pirate on the ocean!"

"Now, I _seriously_ doubt that." Jack puffed up. "He was most likely nowhere _near_ as good as the most famous pirate on the ocean, _Captain_ Jack Sparrow."

The boy's head tilted as he looked at Jack, frowning. "Who's that?"

Jack deflated. "You- you've never heard of me– him! You've never heard of him?"

The child shook his head. "I don't think so. My brother doesn't tell me about being a pirate very often. He says it was a _long_ time ago and not worth mentioning to young boys whenever I ask. He says I might get_ ideas._" The boy made a face. "I thought ideas were good, but I guess not."

"Where exactly is this brother of yours who claims that he once engaged in various acts of piracy?" Jack doubted the man had actually been a pirate if he had never heard of Captain Jack Sparrow.

The boy sighed. "He's in England." Perking up, he added, "He might visit me next year, or after that, though! Once he's finished showing Spain what for, he said."

Jack blinked. "Well." Nothing for it then. He turned. "Now, I need to find some rum."

"My brother says I can't have rum."

"Good thing I didn't invite you, then." The child continued after him. Jack called over his shoulder, "Run along and leave me alone, savvy?"

"But-"

"No." The boy was impossible to get rid of. Jack stopped, an idea hitting him. He turned to look at the child. "You can't come, because I have a very special job for you."

"A job?" The boy frowned. "I don't like jobs. Usually, it means I have to clean up my toys, or take a bath, or do something else I don't wanna do."

Jack smirked. "No, I have a job that's _very_ important. You need to stand at the docks and watch for pirates. You need to make sure none get into town."

The child blinked. "But that's what I was doing."

Jack frowned. "What?"

Nodding, the kid continued, "This morning, another person with funny hair and a big hat who I was talking to told me to do that."

Well, that explained the child's persistence. "Yes, and a jolly good job you've done of it. No pirates here. Now, go away and make sure no other pirates get in, savvy?"

The boy nodded in excitement and turned to run off to the docks. Finally free of the pest, Jack started for the market.

"Don't worry, I won't tell the guards you're a pirate!"

_Blasted_ boy.


End file.
